Rules for Driving in Bangkok

DO NOT- I REPEAT- DO NOT even think of attempting to drive in Bangkok. I think I have witnessed how I would die in a traffic accident at least 5 times per taxi ride. I don't know what traffic laws there are here- but they seem to be something like this-

1. I think I can fit through there let's try and see (there will be less than a couple inches to spare on either side.
2. I need to get down this road a little faster than I'm moving right now- as long as there are no cars for the moment because the light is red I can drive on the wrong side of the road.
3. I need to change lanes- you all better get out of my way or I'll just merge in to the side of you.
4. I'm on a scooter- I can fit anywhere!
5. Pedestrians don't have any rights- much less the right of way- HA!
6. Lanes are more of a suggestion than a hard and fast rule- and they are only as wide as they need to be- no leeway.
7. Stopping on the train tracks- no big deal.
8. Light just turned green- better hit top speed as fast as I can or I'll get crushed by those behind me.
9. If there are speed limits- I have no idea what they are.
10. Last but not least- as long as there are no accidents- anything goes.

I think you have to either have nerves of steel or be on some kind of herbal relaxant to drive in this city, but I guess you'd get used to it after awhile. Amazingly enough, I haven't seen a single accident. And the cars are all in pretty good shape and they are mostly new. So I guess it works. But as for me- I'll stick to paying the 2 bucks to get just about anywhere I want.